I am beautiful.
All the years of pain that came with being beautiful is coming up for a revisit. I had to hide my beauty for years because girls were jealous of me and men molested me. I eventually tried to physically destroy myself.
Marriage helped settle that for a while. I was safe to be a beautiful woman and giving soul. The marriage lasted long enough for those thoughts to cement in. Now after a period of time being a widow, I started dating.
I recently met a man I got confused by. And this confusion hearkened me back to before marriage and why I didn’t date then. On the surface, he was one of the nicest and interesting dudes I’ve ever met. Tons of things we had in common. What really intrigued me about him was his being very fluid in supernal flow.
“Supernal Flow” should probably mean nothing to my reader…this is my Divinity Studies best vocabulary word for the experience. What that means to me is that I see and hear and feel beyond the normal spectrum. Having processed some of my genetics recently makes this feature plausible and repeatable. Finding another human who is in touch with that aspect of the Divine has been a search I’ve always had. But finding him, I could not put the stoppers on my energy flow so the relationship blew up before it had a chance to start. Having had a litteny of pscyhodynamic phenomenon happening either to or around me, I’m not afraid to take responsibility for my bad.
So where does this put me on the dating scene? OUT IN SPACE.
Being 64 years old and having no end of divine occurrences, I’m learning to not fear being beautiful. I will continue grooming the Life of Beauty in me. And I also decided to get more grounded for relationships. I don’t know that there’s a human male on this planet that could take me on…I’m a lot of energy, passion and quirky supernality.